Key Takeaways 

• Picky eating is a normal part of development for toddlers. They are starting to explore their independence at this stage. This includes the freedom to choose what they want to eat.  Causes of severe picky eating include avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID), a severe disorder that requires medical attention. 

• Picky eating is a concern when it interferes with your child’s normal development or leads to medical problems. If your child is a picky eater, you can try introducing new foods slowly, eating together as a family, and being patient with your child. 

• If these things do not help, it’s time to talk to your child’s doctor. Therapy can help your child develop better eating behaviors. 

Does your child refuse to eat almost everything that you put in front of them? Every mealtime consists of pleading, bribery, and begging. If this is a regular occurrence in your household, you are not alone. According to a recent poll, parents spend an average of 67 hours a year negotiating with picky eaters. 

When should you worry about your picky eater? In most cases, it's a phase that your child will outgrow, but other times, it’s not and indicates a deeper problem.  

Why is my child a picky eater?

Does your toddler turn down even macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets with a solid “No?” 

Typically, food fussiness does not derive from parenting. For the most part, picky eating is a common childhood behavior that occurs during the toddler stage. 

Most kids start to become more selective with their foods around 2. Toddlers are naturally exploring their independence. Refusing to eat certain foods is a way of expressing their independence and autonomy. Most kids outgrow this behavior by the age of 5. 

Some kids may be more prone to picky eating than others. One of the biggest reasons for this is genetic factors. Studies show that picky eating could be linked to genetics. A study conducted by scientists at King’s College in London found that picky eating is largely influenced largely by genes. Genetic factors play a substantial role in picky eating. 

Your child’s eating behavior may also be influenced by your own. Kids learn by observing the world around them. If you tend to be a picky eater and avoid certain foods, your child might do the same. 

Common causes of severe picky eating

A common cause of severe picky eating is avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID). This goes beyond regular picky eating. Children with this disorder are extremely picky eaters. They may severely limit the amount or type of food eaten. This can lead to poor nutrition and growth.

This disorder can stem from a fear of choking or vomiting. Other kids may have strong negative reactions to the textures, smells, or tastes of foods. Kids with severe picky eating or who have ARFID are more likely to have autism, anxiety disorders, or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

When should I worry about picky eating?

Picky eating is common in children. In most cases, it goes away. But if you are concerned about their food intake, take a look at a growth chart. You should be able to get this from their pediatrician. If their growth trajectory is off, it could indicate a problem. Other signs for concern include: 

• Noticeable weight loss or a failure to gain weight 

• An extremely limited diet (failing to eat a variety of foods) 

• Refusing to eat entire food groups or eat anything at all 

• Extreme fears related to food or eating (i.e., fear of choking or fear of gaining weight) 

• Severe tantrums during mealtimes 

• Difficulty chewing or swallowing 

• Physical effects like constipation or abnormal lab values 

How to support a picky eater at home

It is possible to get your child to eat healthy meals and snacks without major meltdowns. 

To encourage your picky eater to try new foods, try giving them choices. For example, allow them to decide between two new foods. Involve them in the preparation process if possible. 

Eat together as a family and demonstrate good eating habits, for example, by eating healthy foods like vegetables. Studies have shown that kids are more likely to have healthier attitudes towards eating when their parents do. 

Find ways to get your child excited to eat. Make mealtimes fun. Come up with fun names for food. In a viral social media post, one mother explains how she gets her child to eat salmon by calling it “beach chicken.” Broccoli could be renamed ‘tiny trees.' You could also try “taste tests” with your child, letting them guess what food they are eating. Having a picnic is another fun activity that can encourage your child to eat. 

Introduce new foods gradually. If your child doesn’t like the food the first time they try it, encourage them to try it again. Studies have shown that kids are more likely to eat vegetables and fruits if they are offered repeatedly. You can also try pairing the new food with one they already like. Experts call this “food chaining” or graduated exposure. 

Some kids like the attention that they get from picky eating. So, avoid giving too much attention to the behavior. The more patient and calm you are, the more likely they are to follow through on eating. 

Finally, it can be frustrating when your child won’t eat, but don’t force them to eat or punish them if they don’t eat. Avoid saying things like “Two more bites of your spinach and you can have some ice cream.” Instead, simply offer encouragement. 

When to see a doctor or specialist about picky eating

In most cases, picky eating isn’t a problem, and you can help your kid overcome it with the tips above. But if your child’s eating habits persist, it could lead to long-term health problems like malnutrition or painful constipation. In that case, it’s important to talk to their pediatrician. If they aren’t getting enough calories or they refuse to eat anything but Doritos, a visit to their pediatrician is warranted. 

Your child’s pediatrician may recommend different interventions for picky eating. They may refer your child to an occupational or speech therapist who specializes in feeding disorders, or they may recommend a mental health professional. 

How therapy can help with picky eating

There are various ways that therapy can help with picky eating. A therapist may use behavioral approaches like positive reinforcement or a reward system for picky eaters. A child is more likely to eat a food in the future if they associate the experience with positive reinforcement. 

Family therapy can teach parents strategies to manage challenging behavior like picky eating. It can teach them how to set limits and respond appropriately to kids who refuse to eat. 

Bottom line

Take a supportive approach to mealtimes. Keep serving those vegetables alongside their favorite dishes, and keep in mind, picky eating is a phase (usually) and doesn’t last forever. 

If your child doesn’t outgrow picky eating by the age of five, or if it’s severe, make an appointment with your pediatrician. There are supportive therapies that can help. 

Find a therapist for extreme picky eating behaviors 

Connect with a skilled therapist who can help your child with picking eating behaviors. Our therapists deliver the support that you have been looking for. And, they are in network with many major insurance plans. 

Sources 

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