Key Takeaways 

• Emotional dysregulation refers to the inability to respond in an emotionally appropriate manner to everyday situations.

• Parents can help kids practice emotional regulation skills by creating a consistent environment and modeling appropriate coping methods.

• Therapy can provide a safe space for children struggling with emotional regulation to develop positive coping strategies.

While most children grow out of tantrums and emotional outbursts, some take longer to gain the skills they need to manage their emotions.

If your child struggles with emotional regulation, familiarizing yourself with the causes and potential symptoms can help you decide whether it's time to seek help.

What Is Emotional Dysregulation? 

Emotional dysregulation is when a child has a hard time appropriately responding to emotional experiences.

This often leads to intense reactions and difficulty calming down after an emotional response. Children struggling with emotional regulation are often easily overwhelmed and may experience prolonged emotional reactions to situations that frustrate or upset them.

Emotional Dysregulation in Children 

Although most kids learn how to appropriately cope with their emotions as they age, some continue struggling through adolescence.

Parents of emotionally dysregulated children may wonder if there is a single underlying cause for their behavior. Some common causes behind emotional dysregulation include:

• Developmental factors - Because emotional regulation skills develop during childhood, some children lag behind their peers in this area.

• Trauma - Exposure to traumatic events can impact their ability to regulate emotions.

• Mental health conditions - Some mental health conditions (like depression and anxiety) can contribute to emotional dysregulation.

• Environmental factors - Unstable environments can make it more difficult for children to regulate their emotions.

• Parenting styles - Parents who are inconsistent with boundaries and expectations may contribute to emotional dysregulation.

Children learn by example. When your child sees you coping effectively with life's disappointments, they will also learn to respond appropriately and build emotional resilience.

Signs of Emotional Dysregulation 

Emotional dysregulation refers to difficulties in managing and controlling emotional responses. Some of the most common signs of emotional dysregulation in childhood include: 

• Impulsivity - Your child may act impulsively when upset, leading to risky behaviors.

• Poor social skills - Emotional dysregulation can make it hard for children to maintain friendships, especially if they frequently fight with their peers.

• Frequent meltdowns - Your child may experience long-lasting tantrums multiple times daily that escalate quickly. 

Many children also experience physical symptoms associated with emotional dysregulation, including headaches, difficulty sleeping, restlessness, and changes in eating habits.

How To Assess Emotional Dysregulation in Children 

Sometimes, emotional dysregulation is a sign of other conditions and behavioral disorders. Appropriate assessment of emotional dysregulation involves observing behavioral patterns and administering diagnostic tools like the Child Behavior Checklist-Dysregulation Profile and the Emotion Regulation Checklist.

A proper diagnosis from a qualified mental health professional can ensure your child receives the treatment they need to help them overcome their struggles and develop emotional resilience.

Emotional Dysregulation Test 

A mental health specialist like a child psychologist or psychiatrist, is the only person who can provide your child with a professional evaluation and diagnosis.

However, your answers to this short quiz can offer insight into your child's emotional regulation skills and whether they may benefit from a professional assessment. Read the following sentences and select the letter that matches your response. 

1. My child usually misinterprets what I tell them. For example, they think I'm punishing them if I tell them it's time to wash up for dinner.

A. Always

B. Sometimes

C. Never 

2. When my child loses a video or board game, they begin screaming, hitting and throwing things.

A. Always

B. Sometimes

C. Never

3. My child is so quick to anger that it is overwhelming and makes me want to run for cover.

A. Always

B. Sometimes

C. Never

4. Other children never want to play with them due to their unpredictable emotions and behavior.

A. Always

B. Sometimes

C. Never

 5. The smallest issues can trigger the biggest meltdowns.

 A. Always

B. Sometimes

C. Never

6. My child's anger is so out of control that I fear for the safety of my other children.

A. Always

B. Sometimes

C. Never 

7. If I cook a meal my child doesn't like, they will become enraged to the point where they can't calm down.

A. Often

B. Sometimes

C. Never

8. My child becomes so angry that they destroy anything in their path and tear apart rooms during tantrums.

A. Always

B. Sometimes

C. Never

9. My child's school frequently calls to discuss their behavior. They often cannot make it through a day without an incident.

 A. Always

B. Sometimes

C. Never 

10. Our child is always cranky and irritable. It seems like we can never catch a break from their moodiness. 

A. Always

B. Sometimes

C. Never

Tally up the number of A, B and C responses you have and refer to the information below.

• Mostly A's - Your child may be struggling with emotional dysregulation. A professional assessment is recommended.

• Mostly B's - While your child may sometimes struggle with their emotions, it seems to be situational, or their outbursts are not severe or frequent.

• Mostly C's - Your child is developing positive emotional regulation skills and does not need a professional assessment.

When To Seek a Professional Evaluation

An online self-assessment is not a substitute for a professional evaluation. But it can help you determine if your child needs professional help.

If you are struggling to manage your child's emotional outbursts and they are becoming more frequent or violent, reach out to a child and adolescent psychologist or psychiatrist for a thorough evaluation.

These professionals will utilize a combination of structured interviews, checklists and information from your child's caregivers, siblings, teachers and friends to gain a clear understanding of their behavioral patterns.

It's important to note that emotional dysregulation can also occur in other conditions associated with increased irritability, including anxiety disorders and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. A proper diagnosis can provide the information you need to develop an appropriate treatment plan.

Managing Emotional Dysregulation at Home

Your home should be your child's safe space where they can practice emotional regulation skills.

Creating a predictable environment and having clear expectations for behavior can help them build emotional resilience while learning how to deal with "big" feelings.

Strategies for Supporting Your Child with Emotional Dysregulation

Parenting a child struggling with emotional dysregulation requires patience and consistency. Some ways to manage their behavior include: 

• Creating a safe, predictable environment where your child feels secure.

• Sticking with consistent routines.

• Communicating your expectations for behavior.

• Ensuring your child gets enough sleep.

• Showing your child mindfulness techniques to strengthen their emotional intelligence.

Another helpful step is to monitor your child's screen time. Research indicates that screen time may harm emotional competence and even promote aggressive behavior.

How Parents Can Help Foster Emotional Regulation

Try acknowledging your child's emotions when they have tantrums, even if you don't agree with their behavior.

By recognizing their feelings when upset, they can eventually learn how to identify and regulate their reactions in the future.

If you feel like your child is struggling with emotional dysregulation, you aren't alone. Fortunately, parents and caregivers can play a significant role in helping their children develop appropriate emotional regulation skills.

Through Emora Health, you can connect with a child therapist to help your child learn to identify, process and cope with their feelings. These skills can help them gain better control of their emotions and respond appropriately in difficult situations. Get started with your search today.

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