How to Advocate for Your Child at School

Navigating school life can be tough for kids as they balance academics, friendships, and extracurricular activities. For some, these challenges are compounded by learning differences, mental health needs, or social struggles that make it harder to keep up or feel understood.

However, children often find it hard to speak up or even recognize their own needs. If you notice your child struggling, being denied support, or not getting the help they need to thrive, it’s up to you as their parent to advocate for them.

Many parents find advocating for their child daunting, especially when they’re unsure where to start or worry about being dismissed.

But speaking up ensures your child’s needs are heard, their rights are protected, and their learning environment supports their growth. 

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you advocate for your child effectively while building a positive partnership with their school.

7 steps to effectively advocate for your child at school

Advocating for your child isn’t always easy. These steps can help you plan your approach, empowering you to make conversations more productive and purposeful. 

Step 1: Understand your child’s rights and school policies

To advocate effectively, start by knowing what your child is entitled to. Children with disabilities are protected by federal laws that ensure access to a free, appropriate public education (FAPE). 

If your child attends a public school or a private school receiving federal funding, they’re covered under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. Fifteen percent of public school students (around 7.5 million children) receive special education or related services under IDEA.

Under IDEA, eligible children receive special education and related services tailored to their needs. You have the right to request an initial evaluation to determine eligibility.

If they’re eligible, an Individualized Education Program (IEP) will be created for your child. The team usually includes your child’s teacher, a special education teacher, a school psychologist, and, when appropriate, other professionals such as a counselor, social worker, occupational therapist, physical therapist, or speech-language pathologist.

An IEP is a legally binding document that outlines your child’s specific learning goals, services, and accommodations. The IEP details your child’s current academic performance, sets measurable annual goals, and specifies how and when services will be delivered to help them make meaningful educational progress.

Examples of supports include:

• Accommodations: Extended time for exams, breaks, audiobooks, note-taking help, behavior or health plans, assistive technology
• Instructional supports: Small-group teaching classes or explicit instruction
• Related services: Speech, occupational therapy, physical therapy, counseling

In addition to federal protections, learn about your state’s education laws and your school’s policies. Each district may have its own procedures, and knowing who handles specific issues such as bullying, accommodations, or complaints helps you reach the right person faster. 

You also have the right to review or request changes to school records under the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA).

Step 2: Organize your thoughts and documentation

Clear organization makes every conversation easier. When you have a solid understanding of the problem and the paperwork to support it, your communication with the school becomes more focused and effective.

Understand the problem

The first step to advocating for your child is to have a clear understanding of the issue. Start by talking with your child in an age-appropriate way about what’s happening at school. Listen carefully to their experiences, emotions, and ideas for what might help. Their perspective will give you valuable insight into what’s working and what’s not.

Document everything

Keep a written record of your meetings and all the conversations or discussions you have, both phone calls and emails. Include information like the date and time, who you spoke to or met, what you discussed, and other relevant information.

Create a master file with important school-related documents such as report cards and evaluations. Organize and keep copies of important records, both digital and printed. Having everything organized in one place makes it easier to refer to details during meetings or when preparing follow-up questions.

These may include:

• Evaluations, assessments, and progress reports
• IEP/504
• Behavior logs
• Communication, including emails and text messages
• Meeting notes

Aside from formal documents, document specific examples, experiences, and observations of the problem, as well as other details that could be useful.

Pro tip: After any call or meeting, send a short follow-up email summarizing what was discussed. This creates a clear paper trail, ensures accuracy, and helps prevent misunderstandings later on.

Clarify your goals

Before moving forward, clarify what your child needs and what you hope to achieve through advocacy, such as specific accommodations or changes in support. Involve your child in the process and ask what success looks like to them. Once you’re clear on your goals, you’re ready to start the conversation with the right person.

Step 3: Start the conversation with the right person

Start with someone who knows your child best at school: their teacher. Teachers can offer valuable insight into your child’s strengths, challenges, and behavior in the classroom, which may differ from what you see at home. Listen openly to their perspective.

Maintain regular contact with your child's teachers through their preferred communication channels, whether it's through parent portals or email. Keeping an open line of communication with them can help monitor their progress and address concerns more effectively.

Many schools have their policies and procedures in place to uphold children’s rights. Reach out to the right person tasked to address particular issues, like bullying, special needs, or complaints.

Step 4: Ask clear, focused questions

Come to meetings prepared, whether it’s a parent-teacher conference or a one-on-one meeting with an administrator. Prepare a written agenda outlining your concerns and desired outcomes.

Focus on specifics that lead to action, such as:

• What supports are currently in place for my child?
• How will the school monitor and report progress?
• Who is responsible for implementing each accommodation?
• What can I do at home to support these goals?
• When can we meet again to review progress?

Step 5: Communicate with respect and manage emotions

It can be difficult to discuss your child’s challenges, especially when emotions run high. Try to stay calm and respectful. Remember that teachers and school staff also want what’s best for your child. A calm, collaborative tone helps keep the focus on problem-solving rather than blame.

Step 6: Request additional support and accommodations

Be clear and specific about what your child needs and what you want the school to do. You might request reduced math homework, extended test time, or access to counseling. If you believe your child requires formal support, put your request for evaluation in writing.

Setting clear benchmarks and timelines for your child’s supports keeps expectations realistic and your child's progress measurable. Agree on how and when the school will update you on implementation and results. Be open to collaboration. Solutions often come from compromise.

Step 7: Keep the conversation going and build partnerships.

Keep an open communication and a collaborative approach with the school. Build relationships with educators by attending school events.

Continue asking questions, share what works for you at home, and try out strategies suggested by the school team. You should also check in with your child to ask what strategies or supports feel helpful and adjust as needed.

Advocating for your child can be lonely and overwhelming, but other children may be experiencing your child's difficulties. Speaking to other families in a similar situation or who have had similar experiences can be extremely helpful. You may also connect with parent support groups that can provide resources and emotional support. 

What it means to advocate for your child

Advocacy is promoting and defending the rights, needs, and interests of your child. It may involve asking for help, raising questions, or pointing out concerns.

In school, this means ensuring your child has access to quality learning opportunities in an inclusive and safe environment. It may mean:

• Setting shared goals for your child with the school
• Implementing reasonable adjustments and accommodations needed to meet these goals
• Following up to ensure changes are implemented

But advocacy doesn’t stop there. It also means helping your child learn to advocate for themselves.

When children start speaking up for their own needs, they gain confidence, build self-awareness, and strengthen their self-advocacy skills.

Over time, they not only learn to use the accommodations and supports available to them but may even advocate for their friends and other students who need help too.

Why advocacy matters

Just because a right exists doesn’t mean it’s automatically applied. 

About 1 in 5 students in the United States are estimated to have learning and attention issues, but less than half of them are formally identified and receiving support. Advocacy helps bridge that gap.

Here are some other key stats:

• One in three kids with ADHD didn’t receive ADHD-specific treatment in school
• A study shows that one third of primary school students, almost half of kids with autism, and almost half of those with ADHD receive bullying.
• Parent involvement matters. Decades of research show that caregiver engagement improves academic performance, social-emotional skills, and overall well-being.
• Children with mental, emotional, or developmental challenges are significantly more likely to face bullying or exclusion.

Advanced advocacy strategies

Advocacy can extend beyond your child’s classroom. Getting involved in your child’s school community, through the parent-teacher association (PTA), school site council, or district advisory board, lets you take part in discussions that shape your child’s education.

These meetings are where parents’ advocacy efforts can influence broader educational programs and policies on accessibility, bullying prevention, and inclusion. Being around peers and parents of other kids with similar challenges helps you connect, learn from shared experiences, and feel comfortable discussing your perspective.

You can also connect with district-level special education advisory committees (SEACs) to suggest policy updates, share firsthand experiences, and help evaluate whether existing supports meet students’ needs.

There are also nonprofit organizations, such as The Arc and the National Center for Learning Disabilities (NCLD), that offer parent training and advocacy guidance to parents.

When to seek a professional advocate or attorney

There comes a point for many families when informal efforts aren’t enough to get a child the help they need. 

Families should consider seeking professional help when:

• The school delays or ignores evaluation requests
• You feel overwhelmed by procedures or paperwork
• Meetings feel one-sided or unproductive
• The school isn’t following IDEA or Section 504 requirements
• Disagreements persist about services or placement
• Safety, discrimination, or exclusion concerns remain unresolved

A special education advocate can help you navigate systems, organize paperwork, and improve communication, especially during IEP planning or transition periods. Advocates are not attorneys but are often former educators, specialists, or parents with training in special education law. Fees typically range from $150–$500 per hour.

You may need a special education attorney when there are serious legal violations, such as refusal to evaluate, denial of required services, or discrimination requiring formal legal action. Attorneys usually cost more but can sometimes recover fees if parents prevail under IDEA.

Professional support can be empowering but may also change school dynamics. Whenever possible, start with collaboration and seek professional help when cooperation no longer works.

How Emora Health can help

Advocating for your child is a journey that takes preparation, persistence, and partnership. Learn your child’s rights, keep careful notes, and stay engaged in communication. Above all, see advocacy as collaboration, not confrontation—teachers, administrators, and parents all share the same goal: helping children thrive.

When your child needs extra support for their mental health or learning challenges, Emora Health can help. Our trained therapists offer evidence-based care and specialize in helping children, teens, and young adults. We offer care tailored to each life stage, experience, and goal.

At Emora, you’re not alone. Support for your child and your family is just a conversation away.