How to Help Your Teenager Make Friends

If you think back to your teen years, how many of your memories involved friends and classmates? You may remember your science class or your first car, but it’s often the people we surround ourselves with that make a lasting impact. 

Having friends is an important part of self-discovery and growth. Friends can increase self-confidence, provide a sense of belonging, and help teens discover more about themselves. Strong teenage friendships are even associated with better mental and emotional well-being as an adult. 

So, what do you do if your child is struggling socially? As a parent, you probably wonder how to help your teenager make friends. While you can’t build these connections for your child, you can provide them with the tools and support to create meaningful bonds with their peers.  

10 ways you can help your teenager make friends

Making friends isn’t always easy for young people, especially when they’re coping with challenges like social anxiety, bullying, or moving to a new school. Here are 10 ways parents and caregivers can help their teens make new friends and strengthen existing relationships.  

1. Listen to their feelings

When your child comes to you with a problem, your initial reaction may be to solve it for them. But before offering advice, make a point to listen to their perspective without judgement. This will remind your teen they’re not alone, while offering insight into how you can help. You can also ask some open-ended questions, like:

• What’s been the best part of school lately?
• Who do you enjoy spending time with?
• Is there anyone in your classes you'd like to be closer with? 

2. Practice social skills together

Not everyone is a social butterfly, so set your teen up for success by practicing their social skills at home. This might mean:

• Brainstorming conversation starters and ideas for small talk
• Role-playing social situations, such as joining a new group of friends at lunch
• Active listening and showing interest in what other people have to say

3. Find ways to build their confidence 

Making friends feels easier when you’re comfortable in your own skin. If it seems like your teen is struggling with their confidence, look for subtle ways to help them feel more self-assured at school and in social situations. You might remind them of their strengths — such as kindness and curiosity — or make comments like "I love spending time with you." Over time, this can help them find the courage and confidence to start new conversations, activities, and friendships.

4. Model healthy friendships

Healthy friendships are based on kindness, respect, and honesty.

By modeling positive relationships with the people in your life, you’re teaching your teen what to look for in their own connections.

This includes active listening, respecting people's boundaries, and being supportive during their highs and lows. 

5. Look for common interests 

It’s often easier to connect with people who share similar interests. Help your child find extracurriculars or volunteer opportunities related to their passions, such as sports, music, or yoga. If your teen isn’t sure what they like, encourage them to keep an open mind as they explore new interests and possible friendships. 

6. Make your home a place for socializing 

If you know your child feels overwhelmed in unfamiliar environments, remind them that classmates are always welcome in your home. For example, they can host a small movie night or have people over to work on a classic project. This is a great way for your child to take social initiative in a setting where they feel comfortable, so be mindful of giving them their space. 

7. Consider what’s in their control 

Another idea is to help your child focus on what’s within their control, such as taking care of their body. Children and teens who practice regular self-care may be more likely to develop skills in resilience, emotional regulation, and independence. Self-care includes regular physical movement, a healthy diet, and making time for activities that bring them joy. 

8. Celebrate small wins

As an adult, you know that creating meaningful friendships can take time. If you notice your teen feeling frustrated or overwhelmed, consider setting small social goals. For example, saying hello to someone new or asking a classmate to partner with them on an upcoming project. 

9.  Know when to give them space

When it comes to parenting teenagers, it's important to find balance. You want to be present and available, while also giving them space to navigate social situations in their own way. Parents should be aware of their teen's social life, but refrain from playing too active a role. 

10. Get professional support

If your teen is showing signs of anxiety, depression or ongoing social struggles, know that help is available. With your child’s permission, consider reaching out to their school guidance counselor for feedback and ideas on how to meet new people. You might also consider working with a therapist who has experience helping teens improve confidence and communication skills. 

Common barriers to making friends 

Building new connections is a normal part of a child's healthy development, but that doesn’t mean it always comes easily. According to one national poll, about half of teens say they tend to stand out rather than fit in with their peers. There are several common reasons why some teens may find it more difficult to make friends, including:

Internal factors

• Temperament: Teens who are shy or introverted may find it more difficult to open up to new people in group settings. Instead, they might prefer smaller groups and more intimate social interactions. 
• Lack of confidence: Low self-confidence can make it difficult to start conversations or join social activities. Teens who lack confidence may fear saying the wrong thing or being judged by others.
• Social anxiety: Social anxiety disorder is a type of anxiety disorder that causes an overwhelming fear of social situations. For people with social anxiety, simple things like eating lunch or speaking in class can trigger an intense fear of being judged or rejected. 
• Neurodivergence: Neurodivergent teens may struggle with socialization, emotional regulation, and executive functioning, all of which can impact their ability to connect with their peers.

External factors

• Bullying: If your teen has been bullied, betrayed, or excluded, they may find it more difficult to open up to potential new friends. 
• Moving schools: Switching schools and being "the new kid" can create several challenges, such as feeling like an outsider and missing other friends.
• Lack of social skills: Teens who don't know how to greet people or carry on a conversation may find it more difficult to make friends.
• Overreliance on social media: On average, teens spend nearly 5 hours per day on social media. Spending too much time on social media can impact your self-esteem, mental health, and ability to form meaningful in-person connections. 

Why friendships matter for your teen

Friendships play an essential role in a teenager’s social, emotional, and cognitive development. Research has found that feeling socially accepted as a teen may be linked to greater well-being as an adult. 

Other benefits of friendship for teens include:

• Increased confidence and self-esteem 
• Less stress and anxiety 
• Less loneliness and social isolation 
• More empathy 
• Increased sense of belonging
• Better social skills 
• A support network outside of family relationships 

How to help your teen build friendship skills

Think of social skills as the building blocks of friendship. When you know how to communicate and connect with your peers, you can begin to build meaningful bonds. Here are some important social, emotional, and relationship skills to help your teen form friendships and find social success.

Effective communication

Your teen might talk nonstop at home, but lack the confidence and skills to connect with their peers. Some examples of effective communication skills include initiating conversation, asking appropriate questions, and giving other people space to share their opinions. 

Active listening

Show your child the importance of remaining fully present during conversations. This means putting down their phone, listening without judgment, and allowing the other person to speak before interjecting.

Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share other people’s feelings. It can help you appreciate someone’s perspective and connect with them in a more meaningful way. Parents can demonstrate empathy by ensuring that each member of the family is treated with kindness and respect. 

Social cues

Remind your teens that actions say just as much as words. Learning to recognize social cues can help them understand other people's feelings, attitudes, and intentions. Social cues include facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language. 

Conflict resolution

Knowing how to resolve conflict is essential to navigating disagreements respectfully. Teens with effective conflict resolution skills know how to express their thoughts and feelings, listen to other perspectives, and handle difficult situations calmly and confidently.

Adaptability 

High school is full of change, so show your teen how to adapt to new situations with ease. Knowing how to navigate change can help youth cope with potentially stressful situations, such as switching schools and making new friends.

When to seek professional help

Many teens find it difficult to make friends or connect with like-minded peers, especially when they don’t feel comfortable in social settings. Fortunately, working with a mental health professional can help your child develop the appropriate skills to feel more confident, communicative, and connected. 

In some cases, social struggles may be a sign of an underlying mental health concern. It may be worth meeting with a mental health professional if your child exhibits any of the following behaviors:

• Changes in appetite or sleep habits
• Angry outburst
• Loss of interest in activities they typically enjoy
• Increased irritability or restlessness
• Feeling sad, hopeless, or worthless
• Difficulty concentrating or thinking clearly
• Thoughts of harming themself or others 

How Emora Health can help your teen make friends 

As a parent, it’s difficult to watch your child struggle to make or maintain friendships. You know all of their strengths and wonderful qualities, and you want others to see your child as you do. That’s where Emora Health can help. 

Emora Health connects children, teens, and young adults with licensed behavioral experts, including therapists, psychologists, and psychiatric clinicians. They’re trained in evidence-based treatments to help young people cope with anxiety, conflict with friends, and other mental health challenges. With the support of a qualified mental health professional, your child can develop the skills to socialize, build resilience, and show the world their authentic self. 

Emora Health connects young people with mental health care when and where they need it. With providers who specialize in more than 100 conditions and experiences, we can help your teen see a provider who is right for them in 48 hours or less. Learn more about Emora Health and get started today.